Posted by
Evangeline on Sunday, March 11, 2007 10:46:19 PM
…or, the Re-education of a Dangerous Thought Criminal. Frodo in the tower under interrogation. Orc panel convenes.
The skinny on the subject: Short guy with bad case of overgrown hair on feet exhibits paranoid delusions. Mr. F believes that as the wearer of a magic ring not currently in his possession (humor the poor fellow- we’ve heard it’s plain gold) he is relentlessly pursued by a well-orchestrated team of bad guys in black robes seated on flying black steeds (you’ve got to be kidding). He also displays profound prejudice against the peace-loving Orc people, insisting on outmoded notions that they are stinky, vulgar, cowardly, and mean-spirited as well as cannibalistic murderers. He believes that their great leader, Mr. S, is the source of all evil in Middle Earth.
Mr. F has been deprived of all possessions, stripped naked and beaten to allow him to focus, not on the crass material things of the world, but on the spiritual aspects of the re-education program. They will begin with the classic chant, “Elves bad, Orcs good”. With careful treatment, Mr. F will eventually repudiate the charlatan Gandalf, his dangerous cult, and Aragorn the Usurper. He will embrace the benevolent Mr. S., who only wants to help him by locating and removing the ring, the objectified source of his delusions.
The Orc counselors are optimistic that with time, incarceration, and meds Mr. F will become a regular fellow who will be extremely useful to the Orc culture.